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What the Everything Bagel tells us about America.


Breakfast is probably America's favorite meal. From the Grand Slam to the Benedict Arnold, the 'most important meal of the day' is riddled with American undertones. In fact, when we eat breakfast, we readily identify the only two things that aren't patriotic- Belgian Waffles and French Toast. It could even even be said that Deviled Eggs are from the good ole' US of A since you can visit Hell without needing a passport.

But one morning food epitomizes America more than anything, and that isn't as great as it sounds. The Everything Bagel is America's food and might as well be cooked by Uncle Sam. At first glance that seems like a uniformly positive statement, but there is a hidden agenda deep within this baked bread that tricks people into settling for less.

The Everything Bagel is designed for people who want it all... as long as that 'all' can be ready in under two minutes. And, like America, it advertises the idea that you can have it all. The problem is that the Everything Bagel undersells what everything is. Hell, it doesn't even have all of the ingredients that can be put on bagels. You are simply sold what that corporation believes is everything and told to be satisfied, much like life in the United States.

Now is the time to broaden our perspectives of everything, and to make breakfast in this country great again.

Also, nobody should vote for Donald Trump.


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